You want to have an amazing life with lots of amazing people in your life?
To do that – you must eliminate all the toxic people out of your life – and better do it sooner than later.
But how do you spot if the person is a bad news for you?
I’ve heard many versions from my friends trying to help me ( according to them – I’m being to nice to people and I should stop investing myself in those who don’t invest as much – but I disagree to this theory) but my 3 golden rules after being burnt so many times are:
- They make you feel bad
Bad in general or bad about yourself. If you can’t seem to find yourself happy around these people – you feel misserable, angry, annoyed, frustrated…etc. to the point where you are avoiding them and then start feeling bad for ignoring them — toxic relationship!!!!
- They don’t help you when you need it
Being busy and not having the time to help out sometimes is not a crime, but if you feel like they are never there for you – even when you ask them to…. not a good sign. You might think it is not a big deal, but if at some point you get into serious trouble and they don’t help you even then – you will feel even worse then.(speaking from my experience) Remember – real friend would never let his friends suffer and be alone in his pain – regardless of how busy they all – it is always about the priorities.
- They use you
This might be an add-on to rule No.2, but if the person is there only when they need you or something from you – that is not a good sign. And I’m not talking just about helping. It is about everything – if you meet/talk with them only when they want it, conversations are all about them, everything is made easier for them and never you, it is always closer to their place, you always are paying, they are picking the movies, cafes, trips, your eating the food they prefer and so on…. if you have to always adapt to them and they never even once do that to you – either you haven’t tried telling them what you like or they don’t really care….
Now don’t get me wrong – I know that we all are busy. We all sometimes get so caught up so much in our problems and stuff that we don’t even think for a second what others might like, but that should happen sometimes. Not every day. I am not telling you to be less of you just because they are not giving the same amount of attention. I’m telling – be yourself and just keep your eyes open – to notice if they are bad for you or just busy. And don’t forget to talk – they will never suggest to go for sushi if they don’t know it’s your favorite food, as well as you will never stop writing them less if they don’t tell you that they don’t like that much reading.
Be honest – if they are your friends -they will love you just the way you are, if not – then you will notice that soon. But you have to keep your eyes open to be able to recognize the moment when you might want to consider leaving….