“Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to.”
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

So someone(my friend) recently told me I’m doing it wrong — the life. I was told that caring for others and always doing the “right thing” is gonna get me nowhere. I was told that I should fight for my own happiness and think less of how that’s gonna impact others. I was called naive to think that anyone would ever appreciate my sacrifices, because truth to be told – no one even notices if I’m doing any. And even if someone does know the sacrifices I’ve made for them or someone else – he doesn’t care.

The thing is — as long as I continue acting to be strong, no one is ever gonna bother to ask why there is sadness in my eyes. No one will do the same to me as I do for them, unless I ask them to…

But for me asking isn’t in the same value as receiving without having to ask…

Maybe I should change my attitude, but how can I change something about myself that feels so right? At the beginning of doing selfless acts of kindness you think it’s gonna have positive impact on you in long term, but reality is that you slowly destroy yourself. You loose faith in others, and you feel like you don’t fit in the society. You feel like a slave of your own principles because everyone uses this trait of yours in there favor…

But every time I think about doing something differently and being selfish — I just can’t do it… Why should I become like others? Numb. Do I want to be numb towards the pain of others? Do I want to be ignorant? No! Why? Tell me why! And the funny answer I get in return is “Nobody does that. It’s the way how world works right now.”.

But is it really true? I mean — I still do it. And my relatives still do it. So not everyone is ignorant, there are  some do-good-ers left out there.

I’d say — there are people who don’t want to do good, they want to be selfish all the time. And they tell themselves that everyone does the same. But that’s a lie. And they see that when they meet people like me and just because they don’t want to change and want to justify there actions they are trying to make us become just as selfish as the majority of the world.

I’m not saying those people are bad. They do good and help out, but only when they are asked to do so. They like when others do good things for them, but they used to that — so they don’t feel grateful. They don’t think they should, because they never asked for it, so the good thing doesn’t counts…

It’s sad. Not for them, but for me. It hurts to know you are never appreciated. But as I said – I can’t be any other way. And at the end — it’s not about what other people think, it’s about what you think that matters the most at the end of the day!

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One thought on “Selflessness – part 2

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